A friend texted me and asked, “What is actually your purpose of living?”
I was about to reply it before suddenly I realize I didn’t have (yet) such ‘exact’ answer for this complicated question.
I don’t think that she is asking about my aspiration, which is someway easier to explain, to describe, to define. I could think of being an inspiring future teacher, a pious and devoted wife for my (future) husband, or a great mom for my (future) children. I could actually think of being a successful person in the future, or many others. But I don’t think that’s all she wanted to know. I just think that she was actually demanding more explanation, more justification on the goal I’m living my life. Yes, it is ultimate goal she is questioning; it is what she is wondering about.
I feel somewhat uneasy. I just see my self an idiot because –even- in this 20 something of my life, I still couldn’t find the answer for the most fundamental reason I live my life. The truth is, I had never been thinking seriously about it. And I really don’t know where I should start defining such goal. *sigh*
I then decided to reply her message later, soon after thinking and contemplating a bit longer. To be honest, never did I think such question would bother me so much that I couldn’t even relax my mind.
I couldn’t see how my purpose of living is thus in the same line with other purposes I’m pursuing in my life. Say, I’m getting into college for the purpose of gaining sufficient education for continuing a better life; pursuing my dream to be a professional teacher. Or, for example, I join various social activities and organizations for empowering my leadership and actualizing myself. These ‘purposes’ are indeed clearly set up from the very first beginning, since I’m fully aware of what I am about to pursue, what I really want to do.
While LIFE can’t be simply put that way.
While I made a conscious attempt to get into college, go get my degree, I didn’t have such equal stance to get myself into ‘life’. The concept of LIFE is a way greater; infinite. It is not me who wants to get into life; yet it is Him, The All-Powerful Supreme Being, who brings me to life, who keeps me alive. Thinking of it, I then see Life as such greatest gift He gives to me. So to speak, questioning the purpose of my life thus has to be correlated with firstly answering the question of “Why does He bring me to life?”, or, “What is His purpose of creating me?”
I’m getting more worried. I’ve been totally aware that life is nothing but worshipping Him. He speaks to me through such language of Love, through His everlasting verses:
“And I created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone).”
[Surah Ad-Dhariyat: 56]
But then, some other questions remain: “In what way should I worship Him?” I myself can’t see that worship here (solely) means doing such ritual, like doing 5-times prayer a day, fasting, and doing other ‘ibadah’. I’m seeing ‘worship’ as a manifestation of our gratitude to The Almighty God. The manifestation which is far more complex than committing the ‘observable’ ibadah. But I just don’t know how to explain it.
Okay, I’m a bit confusing now. 🙂
The point I’m making is that we should then worship Him in every single thing we do. Everything we commit must be synchronized with the purpose of worshipping Him. All we’re pursuing, then, should comply with His will.
I myself find it really hard to fulfill His will. It seems to me that I haven’t yet brought His ‘will’ in every single step I take in life. Comprehending what He actually demands me to be is such a great challenge, then how could I ensure myself living all He wants in this life I’m living, so far?
Al-Qur’an & As-Sunnah which are supposed to be the ONLY guide for me as a Muslim are in fact becoming mere complements for my ‘rituals’ for most of times.
The moments when I (personally) meet Him which are supposed to be the magnificent ones, simply become sole rituals for completing such ‘duty’ to Him.
Believing that The Prophet Muhammad SAW is supposed to be my ‘true idol/role-model’, but in fact I hardly practice all his teaching, hardly follow all his good-doings.
While I believe Islam as a way of life, a system which should rules this life into a good order, I still couldn’t find myself bring it all into real practices.
I should be really ashamed calling myself a MUSLIM, then. 😦
Synchronizing My Goal to (Comply with) His Will
Even though I have had so much to regret in life –in setting up the ultimate goal from the very first place- I believe, still, it’s never too late to start a brand new beginning, re-defining that sort of GOAL. 🙂
A great person I’ve ever met in life once told me:
Life lies in the will of The All-Alive Creator.
Life is nothing but living the will of The All-Alive Creator.
Live your life in the lives of those living the will of The All-Alive Creator.
Live your life for (the sake of) the day of resurrection, the day that will be revived by The All-Alive Creator.
This saying somewhat help me redefining what I’m truly pursuing, what is worth fighting in this life—my very own life.
Finally, I would (try to) answer the aforementioned question:
My purpose of living this life is solely to live His will; to devote myself to Him, bringing His rules into real life practices as a system controlling every single thing I’m pursuing in life. Just then I could prepare the very best ‘outlook’ I would show in the (magnificent) moment I meet Him, later, in another life afterwards –the afterlife.
Life is then supposed to be such bridge to the hereafter, where in between I serve my role as a ‘leader’ for my own self, and be such helpful person to my surroundings. For the best mankind is indeed the one who is most helpful to other people (Khairun naas anfauhum linnas)—Al-Hadith.
May all we’re pursuing in life comply with His will.
May Allah bless us all.
P.S. Thank you my friend for asking such question. 🙂 It somehow leads me to contemplate a bit longer, forcing me to think what I am supposed to ‘pursue’ in this life. 🙂
I hope this answer would not be satisfying enough, thus you’ll search and contemplate even more. Looking forward to hearing any feedback from you. 🙂